The Glow

         This face hides much pain and struggles yet it  glows!

As women, we go through so much, every time our journey seem to be going well it gets twisted with a sprinkle of pain or disappointment! Is it such a bad thing to share these experiences even though they may open our life’s to negative scrutiny..... I guess it is for this very same reason we clothe them inside, which is so not healthy for us.

 Initially I started this blog to chat with you (my viewers) about situations like ones that I’ve been through myself, ones that we sometimes sweep under the rug and never revisit nor talk about. Miscarriages; our babies that didn’t make it...is one of those things. We all deal with our pain, stress and even our times of joy differently but for a mother or any parent who truly wanted that child which was loss I know from experience that it’s not easy. Pregnancy is measured in trimester (three stages) and it is after the first trimester (3 months) we start sharing the good news with family and friends because that is when you and others (superstitious grandparents,doctors) feel you have passed the critical part and can now embrace your pregnancy and expect positive outcomes. Truth is the minute I know there is a tiny person growing inside me I fall in love. I start bonding-establishing connections. I start doing everything (eating, taking prenatal vitamins, no bending, etc) in the best interest of that tiny little Dot. 

She could be 1-12 weeks to me it makes no difference, all I know she is my baby, and she is growing inside me and I can’t wait to see her, to hold her, to cuddle her, to love her. It is that instantaneous love that make me embrace the morning sickness, the headaches and the number of other ailments that comes with early pregnancy 🤰🏻 knowing that it’s the rising HCG levels. Hormones that are integral for maintaining my hormone secretion and the development of my tiny little seed that’s causing my body to react differently-causing me to feel like my life of routine and balance is now transformed to be a place of chaos. I am now living like I’m a stranger in my own body as it’s now being invaded by the growth of this tiny person and amid the hormonal turmoil, I am loving it! 

As she grows the pressure make it's way to your hips, thighs, legs, and feet...(that is if she makes it that far!) And still I embrace it, hoping, praying, waiting for her safe arrival but sadly sometimes, just sometimes that wait is ended quicker than we expected and sometimes it runs its due course but our bundle of joy does not make it home. Now, that is where a new journey begins! How does one move forward from the physical, emotional, and psychological imbalance that is imposed upon the grieving mother and her family after such a loss. The question for me is"do we ever truly recover?"

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