Yes, life have knocked me out a time or two and though at that moment in the ring getting knocked around it is easy to lose faith, get confused even, we must find a way to fight back. I have been punched so hard, all I could see was greyness. I was crippled physically,  mentally and emotionally however I nursed my wounds daily with the hope of returning to "me" so that I can regain my strength and fight back....maybe my first few punches may not make any impact, but we all can agree that a girl have got to try.

 Life can be cruel but no matter what it throws at us whether it be kicks or punches we have to dig deep in ourselves and find a way to "fight back." I know, yes, I have been there and can testify "sometimes it ain't  no easy journey getting yourself back." But see, life does not stop, it is always coming at us, whether it's punching, kicking, crushing or even elevating, so then we have to be vigilant. 

 Life often seem unfair with the uncertainties it throws at us hence the reason for my quote " challenges are inevitable, but we must find a way to make our healing the same."  It is through healing we can see the light which makes our target visible,  so that we can strike our knock out punch and defeat what was meant to cripple us!

The Glow

         This face hides much pain and struggles yet it  glows!

As women, we go through so much, every time our journey seem to be going well it gets twisted with a sprinkle of pain or disappointment! Is it such a bad thing to share these experiences even though they may open our life’s to negative scrutiny..... I guess it is for this very same reason we clothe them inside, which is so not healthy for us.

 Initially I started this blog to chat with you (my viewers) about situations like ones that I’ve been through myself, ones that we sometimes sweep under the rug and never revisit nor talk about. Miscarriages; our babies that didn’t make it...is one of those things. We all deal with our pain, stress and even our times of joy differently but for a mother or any parent who truly wanted that child which was loss I know from experience that it’s not easy. Pregnancy is measured in trimester (three stages) and it is after the first trimester (3 months) we start sharing the good news with family and friends because that is when you and others (superstitious grandparents,doctors) feel you have passed the critical part and can now embrace your pregnancy and expect positive outcomes. Truth is the minute I know there is a tiny person growing inside me I fall in love. I start bonding-establishing connections. I start doing everything (eating, taking prenatal vitamins, no bending, etc) in the best interest of that tiny little Dot. 

She could be 1-12 weeks to me it makes no difference, all I know she is my baby, and she is growing inside me and I can’t wait to see her, to hold her, to cuddle her, to love her. It is that instantaneous love that make me embrace the morning sickness, the headaches and the number of other ailments that comes with early pregnancy 🤰🏻 knowing that it’s the rising HCG levels. Hormones that are integral for maintaining my hormone secretion and the development of my tiny little seed that’s causing my body to react differently-causing me to feel like my life of routine and balance is now transformed to be a place of chaos. I am now living like I’m a stranger in my own body as it’s now being invaded by the growth of this tiny person and amid the hormonal turmoil, I am loving it! 

As she grows the pressure make it's way to your hips, thighs, legs, and feet...(that is if she makes it that far!) And still I embrace it, hoping, praying, waiting for her safe arrival but sadly sometimes, just sometimes that wait is ended quicker than we expected and sometimes it runs its due course but our bundle of joy does not make it home. Now, that is where a new journey begins! How does one move forward from the physical, emotional, and psychological imbalance that is imposed upon the grieving mother and her family after such a loss. The question for me is"do we ever truly recover?"

Please leave your comments and views on this blog...thanks

Goals

Not fitting in

Equality.

 It is a known fact that we are all created in the image and likeness of Our Father however our life experiences and decisions shapes who we become.

 We sometimes tend to judge others, form opinions and/or make common grounds based on ethnicity, colour, culture, education among many other definitions and perceptions but life as taught me that at the end of the day it boils down to "us." 

We define who we are! Our thoughts and actions defines who we become hence forming our individual characters but our "truth"  (experiences) is what truly defines our equality. 

Love

 As humans, it is coded in our DNA to love and nurture our offspring. Even when they are grown adults we still have the urge to protect them from pain, disappointment and anything that may cause them suffering. So then why is it when someone takes an interest in us and that interest grows and blossom into the thing we all seek (love) we sometimes take advantage of it?

Being able to foster these emotions (love, trust) and decide to express them in words and action (especially to someone we do not share our DNA with) literally put us in a gullible position, yet we do it anyway hoping that the person we share them with in return will do the same. 

We all have the desire to be loved but do we truly know how to appreciate it. Loving someone takes a lot of trust and deep emotional feelings transformed into action, which should not to be taken lightly. I have learned through life experiences that for you to understand the depth of love one must first learn the true meaning of love and in my opinion it starts with loving oneself.

The same way we try our best to protect ourselves and our children from pain (heartache) so we should try to understand that when someone chooses to love us, trusting us with their inner most emotion (even if we do not share the same feeling) we should not take it for granted but give them the respect they deserve..........

Silence.

Simple statement yet a profound one! We all go through our valley moments in life. A time when we need someone to just sit with us, pray for us, or simply hold our hands-reassuring us that "this too shall pass!" Life as taught me that sometimes it is not wise to question a person (friend or family) about their situation because often times the pain is so deep one has to recover from it before making an attempt to verbalize (share) it. Yolanda Adams in one of her songs sings "while I'm riding through the storm, Jesus rocks me in His arms."  As mothers (parents, guardians) when we are comforting our babies (putting them to rest/sleep) we do not talk to them asking them questions (they probably wouldn't be able to respond anyways) because they are tired and most likely just need to rest and recuperate so that they can grow. 

This is similar to our valley moments, it is when we need support and time to rest-getting the strength we need (mentally, physically and spiritually)  so we can climb our way out and get to that mountain top of recovery. The place where we can claim our victory, share our testimony and start living again. 

See, sitting in silence doesn’t mean you are not helping! It means that you are listening to the person’s pain, to that person‘s soul crying from within so that you can determine the course  of action you will take to help them through their situation. Now that is true listening!

Healing.

Life has knocked me down a few times! People have repeatedly hurt and disappointed me, they have  slandered me, life circumstances have tried to cripple my thoughts and my voice but through it all I've learned a very valuable lesson. Sometimes in order for us to heal we need to take time away from the hustle and bustle ridding ourselves of the toxic environment that eats away at us thus creating an atmosphere of calm which enables us one on one time with our inner being and The Force that fuels us. (we are sometimes our best company)

 Healing is an integral part of our growth and well-being and if we do not take the time to mend (no matter how minute the pain may seem) we "will" eventually fall apart hence making our journey to recovery a more challenging one. It is important for us to acknowledge our brokenness and take the time needed to heal. (Self Love and Self Care plays a great role in this area of our lives). I have learned, in order for me to truly be "me" I most be a very healthy me! I cannot be me and be broken at the same time.... We have to take the time to  distance ourselves in silence from  stress and the stressors so that we can be lifted up and soar!

The saying goes "when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade." I say what's the point in making it if you or no one else can enjoy it! We have to take the time to love and care for ourselves because there can only be one you/me and that's the healthy one......

Staying positive

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People are negative (this is a fact!) but we should not focus on their way because the moment we do, we can easily lose ourselves getting drawn into gossiping,  judging, and criticizing rather than being that tower of strength, support and guiding light that lights the path to positive outcomes. We most stay positive so that we can foster the good in us which contributes to our holistic health, well-being and an overall healthy human experience. Let us live and not just exist, let us start focusing on the positive, acknowledging the negative for what it truly is UNHEALTHY!

Life's moments.

As women (wives and mothers) we tend to hide behind our strength but there comes a time when we ought to allow ourselves to be weak so that we can build ourselves back up to be stronger and wiser.

I can testify that my weakest moments have taught me to be strong, resilient and wise because it is in my time of weakness I am urged to be still and listen to my inner self.

Life!

Why is it that life as to be so complicated, just when you thought you have jumped your highest hurdle a higher one present itself! At my age (middle age) I thought I had passed through my share of harsh challenges but I have been proven wrong. As a believer I know that the enemy is constantly working against me to make me fail thus becoming weak and fragile-vulnerable so he can take president over my being.

 While this is his purpose, I try not to lose sight of mine and who I am and the force that dwells within me, the force that drives
 me-giving me the understanding, strength and reassurance I need, knowing no matter how hard the task I am able to go through it and be victorious. I must admit that this is not always my initial reaction but always the ultimate!

There comes a time in our lives when we must put self-first. I know this quote might sound selfish however when you have been through the pain,  the sadness, and other maudlin experiences that I have endured you realize that you must take the time to pause, reflect, and reset. In order to do this one must focus on self.  

As a wife, mother, daughter, niece, auntie, educator, friend, earth citizen along with my many other titles I am bonded to certain responsibilities! Responsibilities that I am naturally expected to show love, support and for most part give a piece of me whenever I am called upon! In order to serve effectively in my roles I cannot do it from a place of brokenness. Hence, the reason for my quote. In order to heal and support others in their healing process I/we must acknowledge when we are broken and take the time needed to heal ourselves so that we can be successful in serving our purpose! 

Whenever  you are going through life’s challenges there is always that person who will say “all you need to do is believe in yourself” sounds like great encouragement! However,  there comes a time on ones journey where such loving,  genuine words cannot be understood-let alone put into action!